


the warmth of your touch

by undernightlight



Series: the love I have for you [1]
Category: Midsomer Murders - All Media Types
Genre: Bi Jamie Winter, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, mentions of transphobia, trans original character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26471887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: Jamie and Barnaby talk to a young man, Zachary Lambert, in the wake of a murder in Sawleyton, really only intending to talk to his grandparents. That was all. Jamie definitely didn't intend for it to turn into something else, especially not like this.
Relationships: Jamie Winter/Original Character(s), Jamie Winter/Original Male Character(s)
Series: the love I have for you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950424
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

They parked and started their way down the road to the small cottage house of Mr and Mrs Romano. They were pointed in this direction by Mr Jefferson’s sister; she said he knew them, talked to them whenever they came into the store, more so than he did with other patrons, and that she thought that he was friendlier than he needed to be. Jamie wasn’t really sure what that meant, but talking to the eldery couple was a logic lead to follow.

The entire village of Sawleyton was small and quaint - like all of Midsomer Jamie had found upon transfer - only a short, twenty minute drive from Causton, with the building all black timber strips and leaded windows. A lot of the houses, practically all cottages, were set back from the roads, with front gardens in various states of landscaping. As they approached the Romano house, the large hedge that blocked the view of the cottage, was well kept and trimmed to shape.

When they were a few steps away from the gate, it opened on its own, and a young man, previously unseen, stepped out, carrying a cardboard box in his arms. He set it down to open the boot of an old hot hatch, before picking the box back up, the sound of dinnerware and crockery clinking around, and putting it in.

Jamie exchanged looks with Barnaby, before silently agreeing to talk to the young man. They took the last few steps, the man seeing them as he closed his car back up.

“Can I help you with something gentlemen?” He asked, a polite smile on his face.

Barnaby pulled his badge from his jacket and Jamie followed suit. “DCI Barnaby and DS Winter. We’re here to speak with Peter and Concetta Romano.”

Confusion clouded across the young man’s face. “They’re my grandparents. Can I ask what this is about?”

“And your name is?”

“Zac. Zac-Zachary Lambert - are they in trouble?” The concern and panic was clear in his voice and rising.

Barnaby kept control of the conversation well, though, why wouldn’t he. “We would just like to talk to your grandparents about a Mr Andrew Jefferson. Did you know him?”

Jamie watched Zac expression shift, genuinely trying to recall anything, but eventually he shook his head. “No, sorry. I’m only living here temporarily, just to help them out for a little bit. I actually go back in a few days.”

The detective nodded, exchanging glances again. Jamie, then, was expecting them both to go inside and talk to the Romanos, but instead, Barnaby turned back to Zachary and asked, “Is it alright if my Sergeant here asks you a few questions?” That caught Jamie’s attention because that wasn’t part of the plan, and though he tried to hide the shock and confusion on his own face, he had a feeling he didn’t manage it very well.

Whether Zac picked on on the honest confusion, he didn’t mention it, and nothing slipped into the tone of his voice when he replied, “Yeah, of course, though I’m not sure what use I’ll be.”

Luckily, before Barnaby left for inside, he turned to Jamie, voice quite for just the two of them. “Try to get a feel for the Romanos. See what you can find out about what they were like, because other than the fact that they knew Mr Jefferson in passing, there isn’t much else yet to link them together.”

Slowly, Jamie nodded, absorbing the information, and then Barnaby was off, walking up to the door. Zac had followed behind, but stopped at the gate, waiting for Jamie to follow, which he did after a few seconds of processing delay.

“Mind if we sit outside?”

Jamie had no objections, and so they sat on a small, outdoor table, patterned to look like tiles, rust creeping up the metal legs. The chairs matched in both style and condition, but everything was still intact and completely stable, at least Jamie hoped and assumed, as Zac sat down with no concern. Jamie sat opposite, and from his inner jacket pocket, pulled a small notebook and pen, though he wasn’t sure he’d need it.

He thought it best to start simple, something that will help build a better profile of not just the Romanos, but of young Zachary Lambert too - best to know your source is reliable. “Do you get along with your grandparents well?”

Zac shrugged and nodded at the same time. “For the most part, yeah.”

“For the most part?”

With a struggling laugh, Zac added, “I mean, but they’re...you know, conservative, for the most part, and they don’t completely agree with all of my life choices. It puts friction between us, and sometimes at the stupidest of times, but they’re still family and I still love them - that’s why I’m here.”

In his notebook, Jamie wrote ‘conservative,’ and moved on. “But would you say they’re well liked?”

“Yeah, yeah. Everyone I’ve met that I’ve talked to and said they’re my grandparents, goes off and tells me how wonderful they are, and how kind and nurturing they are. My grandpa, my unonn, is often referred to as respectable, and I’ve heard three people tell me my anonn - grandma - is like a second mother to them.”

“Would you say you feel like this in respect to them too?”

That same struggling laugh. “These are some personal questions, detective,” he said, almost laughing his way through what was clearly uncomfortable for him, and Jamie knew he’d crossed a sensitive line.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that.”

“No, it’s okay, I guess I just wasn’t expecting to be asked these sort of things today.” Zac took a deep breath, shoulders visibly releasing tension. “Again, I love them both. They’re conservative, but then again, so is the entire village, so there’s no awkwardness like I have; there aren’t a lot of people like me around here.”

Jamie, nodded, understanding, and decoded to change the topic.

When Barnaby left the house, Jamie and Zac had fallen into a much more comfortable conversation, drifting away from the standard questions, and actually having a conversation like actual people. It came quite naturally Jamie found, especially considering he was expecting to just go through standard questions, ones with only the case in mind, but Jamie found he asked question because he genuinely was curious about what Zac had to say. He was even slightly reluctant to leave, but knew he must.

Standing from the chair, and as Barnaby was already walking down and out the gate, Jamie handed a card over to Zac. “If you think of anything that might help, any people that stick out to you, please, don’t hesitate to call.”

Zac took the card, playing with it between his fingers before looking up with a smile. “I’ll keep that in mind, detective. Have a nice day, and good luck with the rest of the case.”

Jamie nodded politely with a smile, and quickened his pace to catch up with his partner, though he wished he could spend a little more time talking to Zac, asking him more comprehensive and personal questions, and to give back answers that were just as detailed as Zac’s. Jamie wasn’t sure why that was exactly, but he didn’t dwell on it. Besides, they had work to do, and a killer to stop.

As they walked up the road and back to the car, Barnaby asked, “Any useful from Mr Lambert?”

Jamie nodded, though he honestly wasn’t sure. “He hasn't been here long, as he mentioned, but he said multiple people have told him how wonderful his grandparents are in the community, so it’s clear they knew quite a few people, and well enough to establish a consistent reputation. He also spoke of their more conservative views, and they view his life choices.”

“Life choices?”

“He’s trans sir.”

“Trans? And he said this?”

“Well, no, not exactly, but from how he talked about himself and his childhood, and his relationship with his grandparents, it would be an educated guess. He also had a pin on his jacket collar, the blue, pink and white flag, that is used to represent the community. Zac - Mr Lambert - said that his life choice affected his relationship with them both, and that sometimes it causes friction.”

Barnaby nodded along as he processed the information. They reached the car, and upon opening the door, said, “Well, it would make sense with the photos I saw hanging in the house.”

“Photos sir?”

“There were multiple pictures of the Romanos with a young child, a girl, with a striking resemblance to Mr Lambert, the word ‘granddaughter’ a part of a frame design or two.”

With ease, Barnaby ducked himself into the car, and with a slight delay, Jamie followed, settling comfortably in the passenger side of. As he buckled in, Barnaby asked, “How did you know about the flag?”

“I used to volunteer at a youth centre a long time ago sir, and we had a lot of young LGBTQIA individuals come in to seek guidance if they were from unsupportive households. I was rather uneducated in certain areas at the time, and it seems some of the knowledge has stayed with me.”

Jamie smiled as convincingly as he could. It wasn’t a lie, he did used to volunteer at a youth centre back in London, and he was uneducated in certain areas. Of course, Jamie left out the part about the fact that it was specifically for young LGBTQIA individuals, and most of the staff, including himself, fit into that somewhere - a strong B in Jamie’s case.

Most likely, Barnaby wouldn’t care massively about this tidbit of information on his, however, just as Zac had said, the village was conservative, and Jamie found that extended to most of Midsomer county, so for the sake of everyone, he kept that to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Barnaby sat opposite and Jamie stood behind him, arm locking in front of him at the wrists. Delivering bad news was the part of his job he hated the most, and Zac was such a nice young man, and yet, the news given to him broke him to tears.

Jamie wanted to reach out, but for the sake of professionalism, he stayed where he was, watching on and feeling rather helpless. Somehow that wasn’t a new feeling, but it still sucked.

Zac was half keeled over, head between his arms, hands fisting through his hair. Quiet sobs broke out amongst the silence of the room; they were waiting for him to calm down to ask him questions. Jamie was reminded just how cruel it was for them to ambush a grieving person with painful questions. He knew they had to, for the job, to have the best chance to catch whoever did it, but it was still cruel and unfair.

Eventually, Zac lifted his head, face red and puffy, tears still on his cheeks, but still somehow looking better than Jamie expected; his breathing had stabilised, and there was a lightness to him, life the weight that kept him keeled on the couch was now gone.

“Do you know who did this? Was it the same person that killed Mr Jefferson?”

“There is little evidence to go on,” Barnaby replied, “however, considering the short time between the crimes and a similar weapon used, we would assume so, yes.” Zac nodded, absorbing slowly. “Has anything changed since we were last here? Have you seen anyone acting differently or suspicious?”

He clearly thought about it, but he shook his head, drawing blank. “I’m sorry, no. Everything seemed as it is,” and then there was a delay. “Actually, well, it’s not a person, but this did seem odd to me.” He stood, legs a little shaky Jamie noticed, and walked to the kitchen. From a draw, he produced a brown paper envelope. “I found this yesterday.”

It was handed to Jamie. He looked it over. A common envelope and empty. The only distinguishing thing was the writing on the front; in thin, black pen the name Thomas was scrawled, all capitals. Jamie passed the envelope over to Barnaby, who looked it over also, as Zac took his seat back on the sofa.

“I asked them about it,” he continued, “but my unonn just shrugged it off and took the envelope off me and shoved it in the draw. It was empty when I found it too.”

Barnaby, confused, glanced up to Jamie, who, understanding where the confusion was coming from, whispered, “His grandfather, sir,” and the confusion was replaced by acknowledgement before his attention turned back.

“And you don’t know a Thomas?”

Zac shook his head, “No, sorry.”

A phone rang - Barnaby’s - who stood and left to take the call outside. Jamie rounded the chairs and sat beside Zac, his eyes watching Jamie as he walked. Jamie offered a smile, and Zac returned it, and though it was honest, it was disingenuous, not that Jamie expected anything else from the young man.

Carefully, Jamie reached out and set a gentle hand on Zac’s back. “I’m sorry,” he said, and he truly did mean it. Tension released from Zac’s body - he could feel the back muscle go soft through the shirt fabric - causing his body to slack, barely keeping itself upright; he was exhausted.

“I know I had my issues with them,” he said, voice stable but still raw, “but I still loved them, you know?” His hand on Zac’s back made slow, circular motions, small but just enough that Zac would feel them, to try and comfort him. “I wish I could’ve told them that though, that even if we didn’t always get on, I still love them.”

“I’m sure they knew,” Jamie said in a matching tone and volume. “Grandparents know these sorts of things.”

Zac ran his hands through his hair, clearly trying to get himself together. “I’m sorry, I’m a mess.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for Zac.”

Barnaby returned, Jamie heard the footsteps on the laminate, and he looked over his shoulder. The DCI was waving his phone, signalling importance, before turning and leaving, clearly heading for the door once again.

“We’ll catch this guy, okay?” And Zac nodded, smiling at Jamie. There was more warmth in it this time, like Zac really did believe him.

Jamie stood to leave, giving a gentle squeeze on Zac’s shoulder, before the young man asked. “When you catch them, can I be informed?”

It was standard procedure to inform the victim’s family when the offender was caught, but that didn’t matter, nor did Zac need to hear that, so instead Jamie nodded. “You will be, I promise.” Another smile exchange, and then Jamie was leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

Jamie volunteered to tell Zac the news. He could’ve easily set a uniform round to do it, but that didn’t feel right.

He approached the gate, first seeing the front door wide opened, but when looking in, passed the hedges, he saw Zac kneeling in the grass, tending to a small plant bed. His sleeves were pushed up his arms, all scrunched and bunched around his elbows. The gardening gloves looked too big for him, covered in dirt - some had even found its way onto Zac’s face, across his nose and cheeks.

Jamie knocked, knuckles rapping on the wooden gate, before opening it. Zac looked up, surprised, but smiled when he recognised who it was. “DS Winter,” he said, “Hi.”

“Hello. Working on the plants I see.”

Zac chuckled. “Anonn used to garden for relaxation. Thought I’d try it, and I think maybe she was on to something.” He pushed himself to his feet, grass stains visible on his jeans, dirt from the gloves rolling down the fabric. “Come, sit.” He motioned to that rushing, fake-tiled table and chair set, and Jamie followed his lead. They sat. Zac pulled off his gloves. “Can I get you anything to drink, detective?”

“No, thank you.” Zac drank from a plastic water bottle as he waited for Jamie to speak again, knowing he wasn’t just stopping round for fun, but Jamie did have good news to deliver. “We’ve caught the man responsible.”

That was enough for the air to be visibly pulled from Zac’s lungs, his body going stiff before collapsing back into the chair with a heft. He was struggling to form a coherent thought, Jamie could see that, so he patiently waited.

“Who was it?”

“A Mr Jason Anderson.”

“Why?”

“Your grandparents witnessed his brother, Thomas, purchasing illegal substances from Andrew Jefferson, the first victim. They threatened to expose him, and Jason Anderson took matters into his own hands to protect his brother, killing Mr Jefferson, as well as your grandparents.” He let the information sink in a little, before adding, “I’m sorry.”

Zac shook him off, “It’s fine," though he was clearly struggling with the news. He took another drink. “Thank you, for telling me I mean. I appreciate that you came all this way to let me know.”

“It wasn’t a problem.”

“And I appreciate that it was you as well. You could’ve sent anyone, but you came yourself, so thank you, it means a lot.”

Jamie nodded, pausing for a moment. “How are you doing?”

“Alright I guess, better than most maybe.” The tension that was once in his body was slowly dissipating into the air, letting him relax and speak more freely. “Part of me feels guilty that I’m not still so upset, and I mean, it still hurts, but, I don’t know, I guess things like this, they remind me of all the good times I had with them, and so it’s had to be upset when I think about when I tried my anonn’s homemade sfogliatelle.”

Jamie looked on confused, missing the word or mishearing it, and Zac chuckled as he understood.

“Sfogliatelle are seashell shaped pasties from the Campania region of Italy. My anonn was from Naples, and so she used to make them for me when I was little.” Zac then said the word again, breaking down the syllables and accents as Jamie was clearly no closer to understanding the exact sounds he'd heard. “Svoy-a-telle.”

Jamie repeated, though with much less confidence. “Svoy-a-telle.”

“There you go,” he said with a jokey lightness that was nice to hear. He continued, "I guess my family have always been like that though. At my mamma's funeral, everyone told such wonderful stories about her, and I could help but still as people talked about her, sharing stories I'd never heard before." Zac chuckled. It was light but still sad, but there was something else in there that Jamie picked up on, something that sounded nostalgic and warm. 

It was nice to hear that Zac was managing alright, probably better than he would in the same circumstances, and Jamie couldn't help but admire him for it. He wished he had that same outlook on death, that it's about remembering them when they're alive; he was lucky enough to never really have to experience it, and yet Zac, years younger than him, had experienced it far too much already. 

"Ah, I'm sorry," Zac said, bringing Jamie back round, "I must be keeping you from your work, I'm sure you're a busy man." He had work to do, but nothing he didn't mind putting off to spend just a little bit more time with Zac. 

When did that become a thing, he thought, wondering at what point he desired Zac's company. 

Zac stood and he followed, redoing his jacket button out of habit more than anything else. 

"Again, thank you for coming to tell me in person, it means a lot."

"And like I said before, it was no problem." They exchanged smiles before Jamie turned and headed for the gate, but as his hand reached the wood, he stopped, pausing and thinking, before turning around and asking, "Would you like to get a drink sometime?" 

With his water bottle in hand, Zac stood staring, eyes wide and confused. And as soon as the words had left Jamie's mouth, he realised how stupid it was. 

"I'm sorry," he quickly began before Zac could say anything, "That was insensitive of me, I wasn't thinking. You've been through a lot and the last thing you need is your time taken up. And I'm sure you'll be leaving soon, you don't even live round here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He was out the gate and heading down the road when he heard Zac call out to him. "DS Winter?" Jamie turned and saw Zac coming to a stop a few metres away. "I urm, I don't know your first name."

With pause, he replied, "It's Jamie."

"Jamie, urm, if you're actually interested, then I wouldn't mind going for the drink sometime. Maybe not straight away, but I've extended my stay in Midsomer. I think going for a drink would be good for me, to take a break, and I wouldn't mind doing it with you, if you wanted." Jamie hadn't heard the young man speak with such nerves before, and Jamie clocked that it was probably his fault for backpedalling before Zac had a chance to get a word in. 

He stood there a moment, before letting out a slight laugh, tension releasing. "Okay, yeah no, I'd like that drink still. I urm, know a place. I could pick you up here, around five some time and we could get dinner too, if that wasn't too much of a hassle."

"I'd like that. Say, Saturday?" And Jamie nodded, smile sitting comfortably on his face. "Okay, good. Well, I have your number if something comes up, but hopefully, I'll see you Saturday then." He nodded again and Zac replicated it, before taking a few slow steps backwards, still smiled, before turning on his heels and heading back for the house. 

Jamie stood on the pathment for a few minutes, still processing, still trying to understand how his chaotic but well meant and understanding ramblings had gotten him a date, but eventually he decided it was best not to question it. He started back for his car, the smile not leaving his face, as he began to count down the days until Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dating time !!!  
> honestly, zac and jamie make a cute couple, as the next chapters will demonstrate ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie arrived about ten minutes early, parking in front of the house. He wasn’t sure on the etiquette, if he should alert Zac that he was already there, but he didn’t have time to make up his mind as he saw Zac leaving the house, smiling through the car window as he walked. He slipped into the passenger seat with ease, that smile still there, bright and happy.

“Hey,” he said. He was dressed all nice and smart casual - black jeans and converse and a patterned button up under his denim jacket - and Jamie caught himself staring before it got too awkward.

“Hi,” came his slightly shaky reply, though it wasn’t supposed to be shaky. “You, urm, you look nice.” It didn’t sound like he meant it - jeez Jamie, well done - but Zac chuckled a little and dipped his head.

“Thanks,” and he raised his head, “So do you.”

Also black jeans for him, with boots and a henley, basic stuff but it was enough for a pub, which was where they were going, or where Jamie had planned at least. “I know this place, it’s not too far from here,” he began, “and it does some really good fries, and a great vegetarian burger, if you’re into that sort of thing, if that’s alright with you.”

“Yeah, it’s alright with me.”

The smile on Zac’s face seemed permanent, and Jamie smiled back as he pulled away from the curb, heading towards the Woodman and Lamb. The radio was on, playing mindless tunes that helped fill the gap between them. Jamie wanted to talk, to ask questions, but he wasn’t sure where to start, or how to; this wasn’t exactly his strongest area.

“So, you’re vegetarian?” Zac asked while Jamie was still trying to figure out a way to talk in a way that sounded organic, and not like he was trying to fill the void - he over thought these sort of things sometimes, especially when he was nervous.

“A bit, not exactly. I’ve cut out a lot of meat, so I may eat it once or twice a week. I do have a weakness for sushi though, so if I ever decide to cut down on the fish, that might be a struggle.”

“I have to say, I’ve never had sushi before.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“I guess it’s something you either really like or you don’t, but I’d say you’re missing out, personally.”

Zac chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The evening had gone well. Food was good, the company was better in Jamie’s opinion, even if it was one of his favourite pubs. Zac was a very interesting person. Not necessarily because he’d done amazing, incredible things - he hadn’t climbed any mountains or fought any bears for example - but he was just so… Jamie wasn’t sure. He made everything sound exciting though, even the little things, and Jamie, embarrassingly, got lost a few times as he spoke because instead of focusing on the words, Jamie was watching Zac’s animated hands thinking, ‘I never knew someone cared so much about house plants.’

They’d spent quite some time after their food just talking, drinking - non-alcoholic in Jamie’s case, he was a smart one - and it felt comfortable, which Jamie hadn’t entirely expected. First dates had always been an awkward thing for him, and granted this had its moments, but all in all, Jamie found himself at ease through the night.

He pulled up outside the house again, dropping Zac off for the night. “Would you like to come in for a bit? Coffee? I think I have decaf.” Zac offered so honestly, so kind and sincere, and Jamie didn't know what to say. “Not for, you know, anything like that, just to talk, if you want,” he pegged on at the end, taking Jamie’s silence as something it wasn’t.

“I urm,” but the words wouldn’t come to him. He did want to, but also he didn’t, or more accurately, felt like he shouldn’t, like there was something there to stop him.

A gentle hand reached across and held onto his arm, resting down at the side of him. “It’s alright,” Zac replied, no hint of malice or hurt, “It’s cool.” Jamie looked, and Zac was smiling like he had been throughout the night, and Jamie relaxed a little into his seat and smiled back. “I’ll be honest though and say I’d like to do this again sometime, if you’d like to.”

Jamie nodded, words still not quite there, but they were moving along in his head.

“Okay, good. You got a pen?”

He nodded again, and reached across to the glove compartment. Under old CDs and chocolate bar rappers that had been in there longer than they should have, he found a pen, probably nearly dried up, but a pen nonetheless.

Zac took the pen, and turned Jamie’s hand palm side up, and started writing. Jamie watched, realising pretty quickly that it was a phone number. “I don’t think you have mine,” Zac said once he’d finished. “Text me, alright? We can sort something out, sometime soon perhaps.

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that.” Ah, finally, words, and yet that was all he could manage.

With a little nod and smile, and another gentle squeeze on Jamie’s arm, Zac said, “Thanks for tonight, I had fun, and it was a much needed distraction. I’m glad if anyone around here was going to distract me, it was you. I’ll see you soon.”

He was already stepping out the car, door half closed, when Jamie managed, “Yeah, see you soon.” He watched for Zac to get inside, who’d turned back at his door and waved a little wave, before starting up the car again and driving home, mind reeling, though he wasn’t completely sure why, or what from.


	5. Chapter 5

They’d planned a lunch date, something a little different, but then Jamie got a work call. He was hopeful that maybe, just maybe, they’d be able to sort it quick and he could still make it out to lunch, but no, fate deemed that just too kind, and so he was to remain trudging through a muddy field.

He managed to send a text though, since that was all he could really manage:

_Sorry, work’s come up so we’ll have to reschedule. I’ll make it up to you.  
I’m sorry._

And then he shoved the phone away. It pinged about twenty minutes later when he was back in the warm and previously mud-free car, but he was driving, so it had to wait. When he pulled up in front of his destination - some fancy house in the middle of nowhere - he finally got to check his phone, and it was a text from Zac.

_Hey, no worries, work comes first. So go save the world. Though, saying that, I will take you up on letting you make it up to me, detective. Let me know once it’s all finished up and we can sort something out._

He smiled at the text, before shoving his phone back into his pocket and getting out the car, ready to save the world.

Jamie stood outside the door, gripping the pot a little too tightly for his own good, deciding whether it was really the best idea to just show up uninvited. They hadn’t rescheduled anything yet, but he’d finished the case that night, so only a few days' delay, but more than Jamie would’ve liked.

Eventually he did knock though, and waited anxiously for the door to open, which it did a few seconds later. Zac was understandably surprised to see him, but still smiled regardless. “Jamie hi, I wasn’t expecting you, was I?”

“Urm, no, sorry for just turning up with this. I can go-”

“No, no, it’s a welcome surprise. Please, come in.”

Zach stepped aside in mismatching socks to let Jamie in. He had quickly changed before heading over, picking the plant up on the way, but of course Zac hadn’t been expecting anyone, and so was dressed down in joggers and t-shirt, not that Jamie minded of course - Zac seemed to look good in anything, which had pros and cons, mainly in regard to his own self esteem.

“Oh, this is for you,” he said, handing it over. Over their first date, Zac had talked about his love of house plants, and though he didn’t have a disliking for flowers, found them overdone in the romantic setting, and found it unfortunate they didn’t last that long. Jamie thought a small, green, spiky plant was a better option, and judging by Zac’s smile and warm eyes, it was a good choice.

“Aw thank you.” He looked at the plant like any other person would look at a rabbit or hamster, before turning his attention back to Jamie. “Follow me. You’ve caught me making dinner, so you’re welcome to stay if you’d like.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose, I should’ve called ahead.”

“Nonsense. There is plenty, so please, stay.” With a smile, Jamie nodded his agreement. “Oh, there is meat, just a bit, but there is some, in the pasta sauce. Is that alright?” And he nodded again. “Cool,” and once they were in the kitchen, “Please, help yourself to drinks in the fridge. Glasses are in that cupboard,” and he pointed, “if you need one. I’ll be back in just a minute.” And then Zac was gone, feet sliding along the laminate as he shuffled out.

Jamie chuckled at the sight before heading for the fridge and grabbing a drinks can from the door. He didn’t snoop, but he looked around the space. Open plan kitchen dining room and small lough area, and large patio doors leading to a back garden. It was getting dark out, and he could see the garden lights start to come on - he quite liked the frog with bulbs for eyes.

The food smelt nice. Pasta was cooking in a large pot, water bubbling away, and a white sauce was on a pan on low heat - he didn’t want to be responsible for burning the house down in Zac’s absence. If his eyes and nose didn’t deceive him, then he knew what was cooking.

Zac returned, plant absent but changed - jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt - still slipping on the floor. “You didn’t have to change on my account,” Jamie said, concerned, again, that he was imposing.

“Maybe, but you look so nice and I thought it was only fair to make at least a bit of an effort.” A wine glass set on the side was scooped into Zac’s hand as he went to stirring the sauce. “Pasta carbonara, I hope that’s already.”

“It certainly is,” he replied, with enough enthusiasm to imply that he was indeed, very happy with it.

“It’s been a while since I’ve made it, but it was my mum’s recipe, so if you don’t like it, blame her not me.” Jamie chuckled and Zac went about stirring. “So tell me about this case of yours?”

They sat on the couch talking.

Dinner had been incredible. God, Jamie had never had pasta that good. As it turned out, Zac was half Italian on his mother’s side, who brought the home-cooked joy of Italy with her when she moved to England at age twenty. Zac had talked about his disliking of cooking up until he was a teenager, when his mother passed, and he’d picked it up then to keep the food going. According to Zac, his dad couldn’t cook for the life of him, so it was the only way to get a good, proper meal.

Jamie had listened intently to the story over dinner, and found it made his appreciation for the food grow. It tasted so good, but the story behind it made it taste even better.

On the couch, they talked about a lot of different things. He was tuned in most of the time, but just like their first date, there were occasions where Jamie forgot he was supposed to be paying attention to the words, and just stared at Zac with a smile. He must look like an idiot, but somehow that didn’t stop him

They were talking about nothing particular when the topic naturally came to a comfortable end. They’d been sitting close all night, and at some point, Jamie had started leaning forward more and more and Zac had done the same thing, so with silence between them, it made sense that one would lean in and they would kiss.

Jamie was not the one to of lent in. He wanted to, but he kept thinking about it - ‘What if it’s awkward? Or he doesn’t want that? Or I’m just bad?’ and the like - but then Zac kissed him and his mind went quiet and oh, it was good. Soft and warm, but enough there to imply a wanting for more, and it kept going, the stakes getting raised, but Jamie knew he had to put a stop to it before Zac ended up in his lap.

He pulled back, reluctantly. “Are you sure you’re alright with this?” And Zac looked up confused for a moment, before realising exactly what he meant. Zac sat himself back on the couch, as during the kiss he’d lifted himself to his knees for a better angle and vantage point, and Jamie felt his heart sink. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

And Zac was quick to interject, “No, you did the right thing,” before he realised how that might sound. “I mean, I understand your concern, and asking isn’t a bad thing. If it was the other way around, I’d be asking too.” He sipped at his wine. “I think I’m okay, yeah. I know how it might look to you or to someone else, but I’m okay, with this I mean,” and he motioned between him and Jamie.

“I didn’t want you feeling uncomfortable at any point, that’s all.”

“I know, I can tell.” Zac’s hand reached out to Jamie’s arm, draped across the back of the couch, and squeezed. “I appreciate the concern, I really do, so thank you. Maybe stopping was a good thing, because I don’t think I would’ve, and not because of any inner turmoil before you ask, but because I want to, but maybe things would’ve felt different after, being in the house and all.”

Jamie nodded, absorbing, and realising that though he had been the one to stop, if he didn’t have that concern for Zac, then he probably wouldn’t have said anything either. It was a startling realisation, for him at least, at what that implied, but Zac seemed rather comfortable with the thought.

“I guess I sort of killed the mood, didn’t I?”

With a smile, Zac squeezed his arm again. “Not really, not completely. You did the right thing though, alright? Don’t beat yourself up over it.” And Jamie smiled, knowing he would probably still do it, though what for he wasn’t exactly sure why - he was’t that horny that he’d mope around about cock-blocking himself because he was concerned for their mental wellbeing.

Instead, he opted to change the topic. “How about I make it up to you though, since that was what I was supposed to be doing tonight anyway.” And Zac chuckled but nodded. “Tomorrow? You can come round and I’ll cook, return the favour, though I can assure you it won’t be as good as tonight.”

“I think I’d like that a lot, actually.”


	6. Chapter 6

There was a buzz and Jamie panicked because that was Zac. He was right on time so really, Jamie shouldn’t be worried for any reason, everything was ready and set, and yet he stalled for a moment. It was only when the buzz went a second time that he realised he should answer. He let Zac in, and a few minutes later, there was a knock at the apartment door. He opened it to a smiling Zachary with a small crate of beer.

“Hi, come in,” and Zac entered.

“I brought drinks. I’m not exactly sure what you like, so I hope this is okay?”

Jamie took the cardboard pack of six off Zac as he led them through to the kitchen. “I’ve never had these ones before, but I do like ale so you might’ve struck something good. Thank you regardless though.”

“After hearing about how you kill every plant you’ve ever owned, I thought maybe this was probably a better option.”

“I think you may be right.” He put them in the fridge and pulled out a bottle he already had. He gave a look, and Zac nodded. Taking off the cap he handed the bottle over, picking up his own. “Cheers to a good night,” and they clinked their bottles together and drank.

Realisation washed over Zac’s face as he had a proper look at the kitchen, a mess of chopping boards and long serving plates with food, as it dawned on him what they were having. “Sushi?” Jamie nodded, and the smile that broke out on Zac’s sweet face was priceless. “Wow, you pulled out all the stops.”

“I had to after yesterday’s glorious pasta.”

“You’re ridiculous, but I have to say I am excited to try it.”

“Well, it’s not all done yet, but nearly.”

But Zac gave these pleading eyes and Jamie was somehow already weak for them, and with an eye roll, picked a piece up from the plate and held it out for Zac. He expected Zac to take it, but oh no, Zac just smiled at him and opened his mouth. Somehow, if it had been anyone else, Jamie probably would’ve rolled his eyes again, shook his head and put the sushi down, but instead, he smiled and fed it to Zac who waited eagerly.

The joy was worth it though, Jamie quickly realised, when it was clear Zac very much enjoyed the piece he’d been fed. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’ve never had sushi before, this is great.” Jamie laughed, knowing he’d probably end up feeded a few more pieces to Zac throughout the night.

Just like the previous evening, dinner finished - the beers Zac bought were very nice - and they migrated to the couch. They talked again, about everything and nothing, and then they were kissing again. It felt as good, if not better, than the night before, and maybe that was because they’d each had a few bottles of beer throughout the night, but they still had their wits about them, so Jamie knew every move made against him and by him was deliberate.

It was deliberate when Zac pulled at his neck, drawing him closer and running his fingers up along his scalp and through his hair. It was deliberate when Jamie tugged on Zac’s shirt, slipping fingers under the fabric and sliding along his waist, skin against skin. It was deliberate when Zac lifted himself and swun a leg over Jamie, straddling him, and it was very deliberate when Zac rolled his hips down.

It wasn’t deliberate thought, when Jamie let out a moan into Zac’s mouth, but he supposed that was rather the point of what Zac was doing anyway, he went with it, letting their action and the night lead them.

He asked once though, a simple, “Are you sure?”

To which Zac replied a quick, “Completely,” before Jamie hoisted him, eliciting a light giggle from Zac, who wrapped his legs around, and carried him off to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short but a little steamyyy ;)


	7. Chapter 7

Jamie was in the kitchen, singing along to his Spotify, when he heard a laugh, and turned to see Zac watching, eyes still heavy with sleep, but a smile on his face. “Oh no,” Zac said, padding forward, “Don’t stop on my account, I was enjoying the show.” 

Jamie blushed - god, it was like he was a teenager again - and turned away. “There’s coffee, if you want it.”

“Oh thank you. I need my caffeine in the morning.” Jamie pulled out a mug and slid the sugar tin across the counter. “When I said don’t stop on my account, what I actually meant was please continue because that was the best thing I’ve ever seen.” He poured his coffee, stirred in sugar and milk and took a sip. “I didn’t know you could sing.”

Jamie shrugged, it wasn’t a big deal, but apparently, Zac had something else in mind. He turned up the speaker, ABBA’s Waterloo blasting out, and took Jamie’s hands - that were minding the breakfast - in his and danced. Jamie was a singer, he didn’t dance, but somehow he found he enjoyed getting pulled along and sang at, but only by Zac, and Jamie couldn’t help but join in. Zac’s hand’s slipped from his, but he didn’t turn back to the pan, instead keeping his attention on Zac as they sidled up together, dancing against each other.

Jamie couldn’t recall a moment in his life when he’d felt this carefree.

The song ended, Mamma Mia coming up next on shuffle, and Jamie finally let his attention turn back to breakfast. Luckily, the food hadn’t burnt, just gotten a little crispy on the underside. He continued to sing as he finished up the food, Zac sat on the counter by his side, singing loud and off key - not that Jamie minded of course - when he wasn’t drinking his coffee.

Jamie turned the heat off and rounded to the other side of Zac to access the cabinet with the plate, and only then did he take another look at Zac and what he was wearing. “Is that my t-shirt?”

It was rhetorical because it was his shirt, and Zac didn’t come with any of his own, as he didn’t bring a bag and Jamie made sure that last night, every single article of clothing on Zac had been tossed to the floor. So Zac sitting on his counter in last night’s boxer shorts and a borrowed shirt, made him smile, and a sight he wasn’t quite sure how he’d missed until then.

With a smile that something along the lines of ‘oh you finally noticed, I’m so embarrassed except I’m completely not,’ Zac said, “Oh why yes it is,” and then more seriously, “After I spilt that beer on myself last night, I didn’t really want to put that on.”

That incident had left Jamie’s mind. It happened early on, bumping into each other and the beer going down Zac’s entire front. “Sorry, I forgot about that, I should’ve left something out for you.”

“It’s no big deal. I found this on the back of that chair, hope you don’t mind. It’s a big like, but it’ll do.”

It was too big, with the shoulder seems sliding down and any semblance of Zac’s waist vanished into the oversized fabric, but Jamie liked it, it was a good look. He let Zac know that as he lent in and kissed, soft and gentle, with just a little dash of neediness for good measure, hands balling around the fabric, before pulling back to plate breakfast.

“Tease,” Zac muttered, which only caused Jamie to laugh. He definitely didn’t deny it.

Zac helped Jamie wash up after breakfast, something Jamie said wasn’t necessary, but when Zac said it was the least he could do after a good breakfast and, quote, ‘a high quality bedroom escapade’, Jamie couldn’t argue. Mainly because he was too stunned by the worlds and by the time he came back to his thoughts, Zac was already washing their plates.

Jamie helped on drying duty as ABBA continued to play. He couldn’t help but laugh at Zac's dramatic rendition of Lay All Your Love On Me, using the dishmatic sponge as a point stick, flinging water and soapy suds everywhere.

Jamie wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to listen to the song the same way ever again.

As they were finished up, Zac finally spoke up about, judging by the tone, something he’d been thinking about since breakfast ended, at least. “So, I’ve only got a couple more days in Midsomer, should we do something?” And finally Jamie was reminded of that fact, something that had completely slipped his mind since he first asked Zac out for a drink.

“Oh, yeah, forgot you were going back.”

“Should we talk about what we should do next? Relationship stuff wise, I guess.”

“Urm, yeah, let’s talk about that.”

The remaining wet dishes were left on the draining rack as they moved to the living room couch, refilled coffee mugs in hand. Zac sat with his legs crossed, his mug on the coffee table, facing Jamie directly, which somehow made this feel a little too serious.

“I think being honest is a good thing,” Zac started, which didn't look good for the rest of the conversation. Jamie set his coffee down, just in case it slipped from his grasp. But he nodded, encouraging Zac to continue, because at least that way he’d know. “Well, I know long distance can be a bit awkward, but it’s not too far, and as an illustrator, I can sort of work from anywhere, so I could still come back fairly often. If you don’t hate the idea of long distance, then maybe we could try it out, if you want.”

The few seconds between Zac’s initial opening and a rather hopeful continuation, Jamie had managed to talk himself out of exactly what Zac proposed, so he was somewhat surprised when he heard that Zac was still interesting, and actually wanted to pursue something.

Eventually, he remembered to nod, agreeing. “Yeah, I’d like that. I’ve never done long distance, but like you said, it’s not too far. I can come visit you as well. I’m sure we could figure something out.”

“You don’t sound too confident.”

And yeah, he realised then that he didn’t. “Sorry, sorry. I was sort of hoping we could agree on something like that, but you just came out and said it and I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to continue this?” And he motioned between the two of them. “I assure you, I’m having a good time, so have faith we’ll make this work, and if it doesn't, it won’t be from lack of trying, alright?”

Jamie nodded, realised that that was exactly what he needed to hear. They’d try it out, and if it doesn’t work, well yeah, that sucks because already Jamie can see them spending a lot of time together, but at least it won’t be because of the distance.

Zac smiled and lent forward to kiss Jamie, but lost his balance and toppled forward. Luckily, since he’d put his coffee down, Jamie was able to catch him with ease, and they looked at each other before breaking into laughter, the faint waitings of Knowing Me, Knowing You in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> abba is their jam and waterloo is their song and that is final


	8. Chapter 8

He’d taken the afternoon off to drop Zac at the train station. He didn’t have to, but he very much wanted to.

He left work, flashing a smile at Barnaby, and drove to Zac’s grandparents’ place. Except now it was sold - apparently quaint village houses went fast - and a lot of the smaller belongings were either sold, donated, or wrapped in Zac’s extra suitcase to take back home. The furniture was staying, easier that way, so when Jamie knocked and stepped in without waiting, there wasn’t much of a change since the first time Jamie had been here.

He found Zac in the back garden giving the flowers lining the fence a final watering. He slid open the patio door, gaining Zac’s attention, who smiled at Jamie as he stepped out onto the grass.

“Everything packed?” He asked as he came up behind Zac, wrapping arms around his waist and planting a kiss on his cheek.

“Pretty much, yeah.” He swayed a little in Jamie’s hold, enjoying the warmth of his body, something he wouldn’t feel for a little while after that day. Jamie knew it too; he wasn’t quite sure how Zac had made such an impact in just the few dates they’d been on, but Jamie knew he would miss him greatly.

“We should get going soon,” Zac hummed in acknowledgment, though neither of them made much of an attempt to move. “Come on,” Jamie said, knowing he’d have to be the one to drag them back, though he equally wished to stay. His feet started walking back, Zac’s feet not moving until absolutely necessary, letting himself act a dead weight in Jamie’s arms, not that Jamie minded, and not that Zac was overly heavy either.

He got them inside though, and Zac instantly dropped the watering can on the floor, its plastic body bouncing, to turn in Jamie’s hold and kiss him. It was so warm and soft, and Jamie’s arms wrapped tighter around, hands sliding down and resting on the small of his back. He let his fingers slip under the jumper, sending a shudder up Zac’s body, pressed tightly enough against Jamie’s that he felt it too, and he smiled into the kiss.

Zac pulled back to look at Jamie’s face, to take it in, a smile present. “Oh, if I didn’t have a train to catch,” he said, letting his fingernails scratch lightly at Jamie’s scalp in a way he knew he liked, and Jamie got the message, not that it helped anyone.

“But you do have a train to catch,” he retorted. Zac rolled his eyes but was still smiling. Jamie planted a quick kiss before pulling back because if this continued then Zac really would miss the train, and though Jamie could think of quite a few reasons why that was a good thing, he knew Zac needed to leave for home.

Jamie helped load the two suitcases into his car, and they headed for the train station. it wasn’t too far, about thirty minutes, so it was enough for them to talk about the pointless things in life and to sing along to ABBA top volume like they were kids again. It was fun, and Jamie was reminded of how things with Zac just came so easy.

It was clear by the surprised and confused expression on Zac’s face as Jamie hunted for an actual parking spot, that Zac had just expected to be dropped off and that was all. “You don’t have to wait with me,” he said once they were firmly parked just up the road.

“I know, but I want to. Is...that okay?”

Zac chuckled at Jamie’s hesitation. “It’s more than okay.” The smile he received settled Jamie again, afraid he’d overstepped a boundary somewhere while he was too busy staring at Zac’s animated hand gestures and charming smile instead of keeping his eyes on the road.

Jamie helped with the suitcases again, and they took one each as they wheeled them into the station. It was the first of two trains for Zac, first being taken to a larger station hub, to then take the two hour train ride back home. His Causton train was on time, and they had about twenty minutes to kill before it came in.

“And you said we needed to leave,” Zac said as they sat down. “Think of all the things we could’ve done in those twenty minutes.”

They were in public so Jamie had to try very hard to not think about any of those things, and apparently his distress was amusing to Zac, who laughed beside him, leaning his weight against Jamie’s. “If you’re that desperate, I’m sure they have a bathroom we could use,” Zac tagged on, looking up at Jamie with warm brown eyes. Jamie had to look away with an eye roll before he started to genuinely consider it.

Zac chuckled again, but let himself calm quickly, the teasing stopping. Instead, he just reached out and laced his fingers with Jamie’s, who happily held on, and they waited quietly for the train, hands together, heads resting against each other.

When the train came, Jamie was even more tempted to find a way to get Zac to stay. He wasn’t sure how he’d manage that, and so stood when Zac did. “I’ll come back soon, alright?” He said, looking at Jamie.

“Please do. I’ll look forward to it.” Maybe he sounded too serious. They hadn’t known each other that long, a couple of weeks, and they didn’t meet initially on the positive of terms, but Jamie found he didn’t regret what he said or the way he said it because it was the truth. Zac didn’t seem fazed by it.

They kissed, a desperate kind of longing passing between them, before they had to break. Jamie stood and watched Zac get on the train, and watched as the doors closed and the train started off down the tracks. Only when he could no longer see the train, did Jamie leave, heading back to his car at a dawdling pace.

They hadn’t discussed when Zac would come back, but whenever it was, it wouldn’t be soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so, that's the end of zac and jamie's story.... or is it?? so, I'm planning on writing more for these two, play more into a few of the things mentioned throughout this - Zac being trans and son of an Italian immigrant, being some, as well as Jamie struggling with his emotions, what the correct pace of their relationship should be, and Barnaby eventually finding out - so look forward to that, if you're interested, though I'm not sure quite when that'll be

**Author's Note:**

> My apologies to any Italians of "anonn" and "unonn" are being used incorrectly. I found an article about Italian dialects and how they were more commonplace words used in the south of Italy, close to Naples, as opposed to the more standard "nonna" and "nonno" from more northern dialects. If I am incorrect , please forgive me, I just wanted to try and give Zac - the son of an Italian immigrant - some more personality which related to that status. The article:
> 
> https://huntingfortheverybest.wordpress.com/2019/05/10/my-italian-grandmother-wasnt-a-nonna-and-yours-probably-wasnt-either/#comments


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